The Power of Brave Questions
How to Achieve More by Asking Boldly.
"When all think alike, no one thinks very much." – Walter Lippmann
The Importance of Brave Questions
Recently, I went through a very stressful situation. I had important decisions to make, and the near future seemed highly uncertain. As the days went by, the stress kept mounting to new levels. Physically, I began to experience feelings I couldn't recall having before.
I realized I needed to take action because this was affecting my personal life. I asked myself how I had ended up in this situation and started addressing the first issues I identified. While I felt a sense of accomplishment as my to-do list shrank, I couldn't shake off a lingering pressure—a mix of stress and fear—that I couldn’t fully control.
That’s when it hit me: it wasn’t just about solving the obvious problems. What I was avoiding were the deeper, more uncomfortable questions.
I remembered the mental model of proximate cause vs. root cause and noticed that all my solutions were addressing the proximate cause. However, after moments of genuine reflection, honest questioning, and rest, I finally reached the root of my issues.
And it worked! Once I addressed the root cause with honesty, the stress, fear, and uncertainty disappeared. I became efficient at work again, and my personal life returned to normal.
I realized just how powerful brave questions can be and how much impact an uncomfortable question can have. In fact, the driving force behind innovation, meaningful relationships, or any discovery is often a question.
I recently read an article about a plumber in Vienna who found a treasure in an old house he was renovating simply because he asked himself: "What’s at the other end of this rope sticking out of the basement?"
Through the Brave Questions Newsletter, I aim to help us learn how to ask questions that encourage growth, open new paths, and uncover opportunities.
The Role of Questions in Communication and Development
At its core, communication aims to build relationships, exchange ideas, or solve problems. More often than not, we focus on the statements being made, but questions are just as important—if not more so.
I've noticed that we don’t really know how to ask good questions. Think about the last event you attended: how many thoughtful questions were asked? When was the last time you said, “Wow, that’s a great question”?
It’s not enough to just ask a question. The way you phrase it, the words you choose, and your intent behind the question all play a significant role in effective communication. Asking great questions is an art, and mastering it requires practice.
Here’s an experiment for you: Plan a conversation with someone close to you and prepare a set of questions in advance. Choose a theme for your discussion—perhaps learning something new, solving a problem, challenging their or your thinking, stimulating creativity, or simply strengthening your relationship. Over time, you’ll notice that the quality of your conversations will improve, and your ability to ask meaningful questions will become second nature.
The Science Behind Questions
People love to talk about themselves. Think back to how much you enjoyed sharing stories from your last vacation. For me, reliving those moments felt almost as exciting as experiencing them.
Why does this happen? Because we are the protagonists of our own stories.
A study from Harvard University shows that nearly 40% of our conversations involve talking about ourselves. When participants in the study were asked to speak about themselves or someone else, brain scans revealed that talking about oneself activated the reward center of the brain.
Some people, either naturally or through learned skills, use this knowledge to their advantage. These individuals draw others toward them, are enjoyable to be around, and seem to possess an endless curiosity. I bet you already have someone in mind who fits this description. Negotiators, for instance, use these tactics to make their counterparts feel important, lower barriers, and engage in equal-level discussions.
When it comes to problem-solving, Toyota engineers discovered that asking "why" at least five times is essential to uncovering the root cause of a problem. They even developed an entire process around this method to identify the core issue.
Reflection
Have you ever experienced a moment when a brave question changed the course of events? Or a moment when, had you asked just one more question, the outcome might have been different? I’ve had plenty of those.
While we can’t prepare for every situation, we can start by asking Brave Questions of ourselves and those around us.
Put It Into Practice
Could you try asking at least one of these brave questions in the coming days? You might be surprised where the conversation leads:
Brave Questions When Meeting Someone New
"What is one experience that profoundly changed you, and what did you learn from it?"
"What do you think makes you unique compared to others?"
"If you could teach the world one thing, what would it be and why?"
Brave Questions When You Want to Learn Something New
"What was the hardest lesson you’ve learned in this field, and how did you overcome it?"
"What’s a common mistake you’ve seen beginners make, and how can it be avoided?"
Brave Questions When Solving a Problem
"What perspectives am I missing that could change how I see this problem?"
"What’s the simplest solution I might be ignoring because it seems too obvious?"
"If there were no limitations, how would you approach this situation?"
Brave Questions to Challenge Your Thinking
"What core belief do I hold that, if proven wrong, would change my life?"
"What’s the biggest risk I could take right now to achieve an ambitious goal?"
"What would the perfect solution look like if I let go of all fear and constraints?"